[ Clive doesn't say it as though he's hurt or betrayed, and Joshua knows it, knowing the tone of his brother's voice, knowing he wouldn't put that on him, but... it doesn't stop the guilt in his heart from taking hold of the words like a dagger and cutting at him. Because never had he been able to give a reason why he couldn't be with his brother, why he had to stay away, and for as much as he knew Clive was at least relieved to know he still lived, there was hurt too, sadness, that something, that Joshua was the one keeping them apart.
And Clive could only ever wonder why.
There's an apology waiting on his lips, but he's stopped as Clive continues speaking of his relief to see him safe. It does little to quell the ache in his heart, but he tries... he bites it back and swallows it down, because... he has to believe that truly is all that matters now, that they're both alive, safe, and together again. ]
Indeed. [ It's said softly, gently, lacking the conviction he usually has, but he's trying to fight his way past the guilt, and gives a small nod.
Then his own smile warms some at Clive's own, at his reassurance, and, after their chocobo's are secured in their pens, moves to follow him as they start to make their way towards the grave, letting him take the lead since Joshua has yet to visit it himself. He chuckles softly, almost sounding more like a small exhale, ducking his head a little, letting the air between them lighten again towards what it was. ]
I should like to believe I have. Lest all that I have done count for naught. [ Listen, he's faced Ultima, seeked an audience with Dion on multiple occasions (and forced his way into his tent), led the Undying!! But then, a pause, his smile sheepish ] Though, speaking with Father again was... nerve-racking.
[ Though more in wondering of how their father would see them now, if he would be proud of them, how they've grown, wondering if they've lived up to his image. And perhaps that'll extend a little as he pays his respects to the spirits here. ]
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And Clive could only ever wonder why.
There's an apology waiting on his lips, but he's stopped as Clive continues speaking of his relief to see him safe. It does little to quell the ache in his heart, but he tries... he bites it back and swallows it down, because... he has to believe that truly is all that matters now, that they're both alive, safe, and together again. ]
Indeed. [ It's said softly, gently, lacking the conviction he usually has, but he's trying to fight his way past the guilt, and gives a small nod.
Then his own smile warms some at Clive's own, at his reassurance, and, after their chocobo's are secured in their pens, moves to follow him as they start to make their way towards the grave, letting him take the lead since Joshua has yet to visit it himself. He chuckles softly, almost sounding more like a small exhale, ducking his head a little, letting the air between them lighten again towards what it was. ]
I should like to believe I have. Lest all that I have done count for naught. [ Listen, he's faced Ultima, seeked an audience with Dion on multiple occasions (and forced his way into his tent), led the Undying!! But then, a pause, his smile sheepish ] Though, speaking with Father again was... nerve-racking.
[ Though more in wondering of how their father would see them now, if he would be proud of them, how they've grown, wondering if they've lived up to his image. And perhaps that'll extend a little as he pays his respects to the spirits here. ]