[ At first, Joshua can barely do more than allow himself to be brought into Jill's arms and limply lean into her, still struggling to pick up the pieces of himself that've seemingly shattered.
He's so much taller than her now and yet... he feels so terribly small in her arms, as if he were ten years old again. But her presence, her touch are grounding, comforting pulling him away from the nightmare that whispers for his attention in his mind, to be brought back here, to this moment.
But, with the adrenaline and furnace that'd been burning bright under his skin now gone, he can feel a cold now settling in around him, making a home in his chest. It's an unnatural, yet still familiar chill that clings to Jill, to her clothes, her skin, and wraps around him in the same embrace. A frigidness and subtle aether that hangs in the air and cools his lungs with every breath. It isn't just cool night air, but...
Shiva.
In the myriad of sensations and emotions when he woke up, he'd forgotten the cold he'd felt in his sleep, the numbing, frigid cold that creeped through the heat of the fires that raged inside him. And it was Jill. She'd woken him up. He'd been so lost to his own nightmare, to his own dreams that Jill had been forced to use her ice to combat the flames that burned inside of him -- and outside.
The fear and guilt that had only just begun to barely calm overwhelms him again in a rush and it feels as though it punches straight through his chest.
He'd almost just primed, nearly lost control of his Eikon again... nearly forced Jill to endure something so horrifically cruel. To bare witness as Joshua rained fire and ash, death and destruction while he would've remained blind and deaf to it all, consumed by the Phoenix. And she would've had to fight him in order to stop him... and he would've fought back, tried to hurt her, kill her... just as he did Clive. Just as they had to do with Dion.
And it scares him, terrifies him.
His eyes begin to well up with renewed tears that spill down his cheeks as he squeezes his eyes shut. He twists a little in her hold until his face is ducked down between her neck and shoulder, pressing strawberry blonde hair into her cheek, and brings his not bloodied hand around her back to grip her shoulder. ]
I'm sorry -- I'm so sorry... [ Joshua's always had a certain with words, but now it all feels so lost to him, and at the same time, don't feel like enough. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-02-27 02:21 pm (UTC)He's so much taller than her now and yet... he feels so terribly small in her arms, as if he were ten years old again. But her presence, her touch are grounding, comforting pulling him away from the nightmare that whispers for his attention in his mind, to be brought back here, to this moment.
But, with the adrenaline and furnace that'd been burning bright under his skin now gone, he can feel a cold now settling in around him, making a home in his chest. It's an unnatural, yet still familiar chill that clings to Jill, to her clothes, her skin, and wraps around him in the same embrace. A frigidness and subtle aether that hangs in the air and cools his lungs with every breath. It isn't just cool night air, but...
Shiva.
In the myriad of sensations and emotions when he woke up, he'd forgotten the cold he'd felt in his sleep, the numbing, frigid cold that creeped through the heat of the fires that raged inside him. And it was Jill. She'd woken him up. He'd been so lost to his own nightmare, to his own dreams that Jill had been forced to use her ice to combat the flames that burned inside of him -- and outside.
The fear and guilt that had only just begun to barely calm overwhelms him again in a rush and it feels as though it punches straight through his chest.
He'd almost just primed, nearly lost control of his Eikon again... nearly forced Jill to endure something so horrifically cruel. To bare witness as Joshua rained fire and ash, death and destruction while he would've remained blind and deaf to it all, consumed by the Phoenix. And she would've had to fight him in order to stop him... and he would've fought back, tried to hurt her, kill her... just as he did Clive. Just as they had to do with Dion.
And it scares him, terrifies him.
His eyes begin to well up with renewed tears that spill down his cheeks as he squeezes his eyes shut. He twists a little in her hold until his face is ducked down between her neck and shoulder, pressing strawberry blonde hair into her cheek, and brings his not bloodied hand around her back to grip her shoulder. ]
I'm sorry -- I'm so sorry... [ Joshua's always had a certain with words, but now it all feels so lost to him, and at the same time, don't feel like enough. ]