Joshua blinks at first when Clive reaches over to touch his face, poking and pushing at the corners of his mouth to encourage a brighter smile, pulling him out of the self conscious thoughts that had creeped into his mind, and then, he laughs. Gentle, soft and quiet as his laughs usually are, ducking his head a bit, but there's a certain heartiness to this one in a way he probably hasn't laughed in eighteen years.
It's a silly, playful gesture, true, which Clive's done twice now to cheer him up, but it's no less comforting, no less reassuring in the way only Clive's ever done for him in all the time's he's been there for him, to help ease the burdens and insecurities from his shoulders that he might breathe, think clearly. And he believes him... that he's become a man his father truly would be proud of... and Clive.
And as the touch lingers for the briefest moment, Joshua almost yearns to keep that comfort, that contact, just as before, and wishes to reach up and hold his hands there, to urge his fingers that he might cup his face instead so Joshua could feel the warmth and comfort of his palms against his cheeks and lean into them. Like at Twinside. But... he doesn't. And Clive pulls away.
"Thank you, Brother." Still, he smiles, truer and brighter now.
But the moment feels all too short. Wherein Clive finds himself grateful for the change of subject, Joshua doesn't as he feels his heart break deep in his chest, as Clive speaks of looking forward to the days ahead of them... of a future that doesn't exist for him... He doesn't know if Clive truly doesn't see it... or simply refuses to, but it fills him with a guilt, a sorrow that weighs down on his heart like an anchor.
But... he tries, just as Clive's always offered him reassurances, Joshua does the same. Not having the heart to tell him otherwise. His voice and smile softening a bit again but not enough to betray the sadness he feels.
"I know... I do not deny I have had little chance to think of what is to come after." There's a small pause as he places the missive in his hand to the side and looks up, finding a new focus in his brother, is expression almost bashful as he asks; "Perhaps, then... we should begin thinking of what it is that we might do? For when such a day comes."
It's terribly dangerous, cruel and sad, to think like this. To allow himself a moment to hope, to dream of a future that he might be able to spend at his brother's side when his fate is all but carved into the very stone that sits in his chest. He could tell himself that this is for Clive, to offer his brother the same reassurances he always does, to help him keep going to do what he must without grieving over his brother whom he just got back.
But he knows, there's a part of him that wants to have this moment too, to believe.
absolutely no worries!! welcome back!! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡
It's a silly, playful gesture, true, which Clive's done twice now to cheer him up, but it's no less comforting, no less reassuring in the way only Clive's ever done for him in all the time's he's been there for him, to help ease the burdens and insecurities from his shoulders that he might breathe, think clearly. And he believes him... that he's become a man his father truly would be proud of... and Clive.
And as the touch lingers for the briefest moment, Joshua almost yearns to keep that comfort, that contact, just as before, and wishes to reach up and hold his hands there, to urge his fingers that he might cup his face instead so Joshua could feel the warmth and comfort of his palms against his cheeks and lean into them. Like at Twinside. But... he doesn't. And Clive pulls away.
"Thank you, Brother." Still, he smiles, truer and brighter now.
But the moment feels all too short. Wherein Clive finds himself grateful for the change of subject, Joshua doesn't as he feels his heart break deep in his chest, as Clive speaks of looking forward to the days ahead of them... of a future that doesn't exist for him... He doesn't know if Clive truly doesn't see it... or simply refuses to, but it fills him with a guilt, a sorrow that weighs down on his heart like an anchor.
But... he tries, just as Clive's always offered him reassurances, Joshua does the same. Not having the heart to tell him otherwise. His voice and smile softening a bit again but not enough to betray the sadness he feels.
"I know... I do not deny I have had little chance to think of what is to come after." There's a small pause as he places the missive in his hand to the side and looks up, finding a new focus in his brother, is expression almost bashful as he asks; "Perhaps, then... we should begin thinking of what it is that we might do? For when such a day comes."
It's terribly dangerous, cruel and sad, to think like this. To allow himself a moment to hope, to dream of a future that he might be able to spend at his brother's side when his fate is all but carved into the very stone that sits in his chest. He could tell himself that this is for Clive, to offer his brother the same reassurances he always does, to help him keep going to do what he must without grieving over his brother whom he just got back.
But he knows, there's a part of him that wants to have this moment too, to believe.