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[undyingflames]

 

Feel free to hit me up with anything!!  I'm honestly always down for anything ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
I've finished the game so spoilers are totally fine, though be careful looking in here if you haven't beaten it yet!

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[undyingflames]

[ On Joshua's travels to discover the truth behind Ultima, he'd traveled across the entire breadth of Storm, there are few places he hadn't visited in his pursuit, even all the way up to the Northern Territories. Rosaria perhaps most especially, having been the beginning of... everything for him and Clive, his home. Coming back to even Phoenix Gate multiple times in search for answers of all that had happened that night.

But, for as much as he journeyed back to the Duchy... he never was able to really to enjoy it as though he were coming home to visit. There was ever too much at stake, too many questions that remained unanswered, unseen forces pulling the strings of everything around him and Joshua's mind swam with thoughts of it all. And what memories he held dear, often times hurt to think about back then, especially when he believed he'd killed his brother during his battle against Ifrit that night.

So now, as they're able to slow down, just for a moment, when Clive suggests they visit the Duchy one last time, in their father's memory and, though unspoken, knowing it's for themselves too, before they return to the Hideaway to prepare to leave for Origin, Joshua is all too happy to.

And as Clive tries to hold to the hope, to the belief that they'll make it back, that this isn't their final farewell... to Joshua, it is. Because he has long since accepted the fact that death is all that awaits him ever since he took Ultima unto himself five years ago, and especially now as they stand before the end and he see's what's to become of him. But he does this with a fondness in his heart, to travel again on familiar paths alongside his brother as they used to, this time to say goodbye to his home, to his father, knowing the future they strive now to save, Cid's future, their father's future, will all be worth it. Because it will be their own.

But he doesn't think about it as they approach Eastpool on their chocobos. Instead, he takes notice of the people working the fields, growing crops and taming the overgrowth, and ahead, men and woman repairing the buildings that had been left to ruin and at the hands of the bandits who had but recently been evicted. Then he looks to his brother ahead of him with a small smile. ]

I'm all right, Brother. You needn't worry. [ He is most certainly doing his very best. He won't say it out loud, but he's grateful Clive decided to call on their chocobos to travel around Rosaria instead of walking. As Ultima drains him of his strength, it makes traveling such distances more and more demanding, exhaustion and the pain from his chest easily taking him these days. But he doesn't let it show, or at least as best he can, as to not worry his brother.

So he's much better than he would've fared otherwise, even if he is still a touch tired. ]

Are we to continue through Eastpool? There is naught but the Dim between here and Phoenix Gate. Unless we are to make camp at the Sagespire... [ There's a quirked smile in his voice. He doesn't necessarily mean it, there might still be creatures in the Sagespire after all so it's not exactly. safe. But he most certainly won't object if Clive doesn't mind it-- ]

[hellfury]

[ Joshua is lucky that in general he is weak and fragile, so Clive doesn't worry more than the usual... Though he does have questions. There are gaps between their history—eighteen years worth and then some. It needles him during this short reprieve in their journey to prevent the unmaking of mankind and free will. There are so many questions... Lost moments, and the blazing phoenix feather he keeps pocketed sparks it all.

In the quiet, Clive observes Joshua a little longer with protective concern before he sighs. His nerves calm and he settles, stifling the gloom and dread that threaten to twist into a pit in his stomach. What's left... Is simply warmth. He's with his brother on a trip to pay tribute to their beloved father. ]

Do tell me if you find yourself weary, Joshua. We have time.

[ Not said with any annoyance. Clive has never seen Joshua as a burden and, while the skies grow ever darker and time is of the essence, he indignantly asserts they can stretch time as they wish.

Despite that, Clive turns forward with something of a dour expression. Oh, he does not miss that Fallen temple tower research facility whatever it was meant to be. Hearing about it again only makes his body echo the aches of their first trek. His chocobo slows again at first before he makes a decision. ]

I'll think about it after we have a short stay in Eastpool. [ The keywords are "think about it." It isn't a sure yes, but also not a sure no. ] ... There would have been people here who wished to see you. We can pay them respects, then see how well the new residents have assimilated to their new home.

[ How does that sound? ]

[undyingflames]

Thank you, Brother. I will. [ There's a small lilt of amusement in his voice. He knows their time is far more precious than Clive insists, as the skies loom dark overhead and Ultima waits for them at Origin, but... he too wants to believe they have some time, more than he's telling himself. And wants to take their time on this trip, even if he may or may not tell Clive he's tired until he's on the verge of collapsing.

Then Joshua smiles eagerly, almost like a little kid at first, absolutely catching the I'll think about it, since it most certainly isn't a no, but then his smile softens as he continues. ]

Of course. I should like nothing more. [ His voice soft but earnest as he humbles himself, very much wanting to pay this town a proper visit, despite his excitement for the Sagespire. Especially a place so important to them and their father. Their father having brought them here often in the summers for short visits when they were children, as he'd done in his youth with Lord Murdoch.

Though admittedly... Joshua's memories of those times are much hazier than Clive's probably are. Joshua was far too young, and he wasn't always able to go, the illnesses that plagued him had kept him bound to the castle, alongside his mother's overprotectiveness, and whatever dislike she had for the Murdochs. But... he can still remember the faces of some few of the villagers he'd met, like Lady Hanna, and how peaceful it was, and how happy he'd been spending time with his brother and father outside the castle, outside the politics and formalities.

But... even as his travels took him back to Phoenix Gate, through Eastpool, he wasn't able to speak with any of the townspeople, wasn't able to visit anyone, lest anyone recognize him. He'd needed to keep his identity, the fact that he was alive a secret, so Joshua was always fully cloaked wherever he went, his head kept low, staying back and quiet.

But none of it makes this place, it's people, any less important to him. And though he wishes he could've before, he owes it to them now to let them know he yet lives, and that they'll save all of Valisthea, and see that the tragedy that befell here never happens again.

His light blue eyes flicker downward as he pauses for a moment in quiet thought, then back up ahead of them to the town as they approach the bridge ] Five years ago, before...

[ His voice trails off as he stops himself, deciding to not speak of the tragedy, of what their mother had done outright. ]

Had you been able to speak to Lady Hanna and those who still resided here? [ He knows Clive came here of course, but the smaller details of Clive's life before they reunited are still a mystery to him, since they haven't truly had a moment to just... talk. ]

[hellfury]

[ What boyish banter they have simmers when Joshua asks of the people. ]

... I had the chance, yes. They still remembered the Duchy, spoke of our father well—held out for our return. [ ... ] Lady Hanna was the one who bestowed to me father's old garb after we broke bread. She was as kind as I remembered.

[ He tries to keep his voice leveled as he speaks about them, but it's tinged with light regret. There was a darkness he had to wrestle inside himself, one that clouded the warmth in Eastpool despite its fall from grace. They opened their arms to him despite him having lost himself. They tried to remind him that he was still a man, not a tool. The constant was grief and mourning. It was for Joshua... Then it was for the people of Eastpool found bloodily strewn at the hamlet's plaza upon his return.

Every once in a while, when he would run errands in Rosaria, he would visit their graves. It had been five years since then and they weigh on his mind. Their hopes, father's vision, Clive wishes them to be realized once Ultima is felled.

When they finally reach the gates, they're met with not usual folks but a bearer and one of the Guardians. Of course, the guardian salutes to them both. Clive divulges that they're here for a short visit before they'll head on their trek. With an affirming nod, the bearer offers to relay to everyone about their arrival, but Clive gently explains that will not be necessary, they are simply passing through. If they could be provided with water and food, he will pay them coin.

World ending doesn't mean capitalism ends.

He leads them to the stables to settle their chocobos. As he unmounts Ambrosia, he looks over to his brother, a bit thoughtful. ]

You were here, weren't you? Five years ago.

[ The phoenix feather should be enough evidence, but nothing like words from the very man himself. ]

[undyingflames]

[ To know that he got to speak with them fills him with a sense of relief and gladness that he'd gotten the chance. But knowing that even after thirteen years they still yet recognized him, spoke to him of the Duchy and their father and how they waited for their return... it fills him with a happiness, but also sorrow in equal measure. Because all their hopes, dreams and memories of their father, of them, of the Duchy... were to be cut short at the hand of their mother.

Still, he gives a smile, sad, but still warm hearing his brother speak of them, his shoulders dropping slightly as they relax a little. ] Full glad am I to hear it. I remember much of their kindness, their admiration of father... that they should have kept those memories close, and recognized you besides, I'm relieved, truly.

[ As they approach the bearer and Guardian at the entrance of town, Joshua returns a short, but practiced bow to both men, in a way that strikes the guardian in reminder of their father, as if his years of learning the proper etiquette to be archduke hadn't faded in the slightest. Then he follows Clive to the stables, dismounting from his chocobo to lead his steed into his pen.

But then he falls quiet for a long moment, settling his reins on the saddle, his other hand resting on the chocobo's feathers along it's neck. Almost hiding his face behind it. ]

...I was. [ His words are quiet, slow, hesitant, almost as if it's difficult to say. Not because he wants to keep secrets from his brother, because he doesn't, far from it, but... because of the guilt that gnaws and pulls at him. Guilt because he'd always been there, in the shadows, been so close to his brother and yet never being able to speak with him, never able to let Clive see him or let him know he was there. The opportunity to reunite after being torn apart for so long close enough to grab, yet he never reached for it. Leaving his brother behind time and time because there was so much to be done before he could. ]

My travels would often bring me back to Rosaria, to Phoenix Gate, and through Eastpool in so doing... and I was here the day before the attack. [ A beat ] When you were at Phoenix Gate, I had... seen you there. [ He closes his eyes at the admission, tracing the leather of the reins with his thumb with a pause ]

But, though it saddens me to admit, I had not spoken to anyone--I could not, for it was of great importance that my identity remain secret. [ He steps back finally away from his chocobo and around towards his brother with a small smile, sheepish and guilt ridden. ] So, I fear a proper visit has long since been overdue.

[ Even if they're gone now, he can pay them respects as himself. As Joshua Rosfield. ]

[hellfury]

[ Clive guides Ambrosia to her new stall, but he can see Joshua from the corner of his eye. Every little shift and change in his brother doesn't go without notice... And he can see the guilt beneath diffidence. It puts him at ease that Joshua is still the sweet boy he remembers from when they were children.

For a moment, he focuses elsewhere, petting Ambrosia on the beak as she settles for her new rest stop. She chirps happily while closing her eye, nuzzling into Clive's hand and enjoying the pampering. In the short silence, he parses through the questions he had... Do they matter now? Ultimately, no, especially with Joshua alive and well. ]

A couple of times, I wondered why you kept silent in the shadows. [ Not with malice, or betrayal, not at all. Clive simply thinks he would have been able to keep the secret, still... ] You're safe. That's what I can see with my very eyes.

[ Joshua had his reasons. Whether Clive was a threat... Whether their communication could jeopardize his safety. There are a number of reasons and he trusts the Undying and Joshua for their ways of work, even though at times he questions the underground knights for their cultic devotion.

There's a small smile on his face as he runs his fingers through the feathers atop Ambrosia's head. There are childish desires of wishing they had more time together, that he didn't spend his years mourning over the person he swore to protect. With a gently swing of the stable door and a clink of the lock, chocobo are secure and free to enjoy their gysahl greens. ]

Long overdue indeed... I'm sure they would welcome you all the same. [ Even if the talk of souls and the dead are sentiments for the living, they can still pay these memories respect. Clive tries to soften the bittersweet taste in their mouths with something lighter. The long gone Eastpudlians wouldn't want to see either of them so gloomy. ] I hope over the years you've steeled your nerves some?

[ Or does little brother still get nervous at large gatherings where he's the focus. They can head toward the cemetery, which lays a bit outside of Eastpool. It's a short walk. ]

[undyingflames]

[ Clive doesn't say it as though he's hurt or betrayed, and Joshua knows it, knowing the tone of his brother's voice, knowing he wouldn't put that on him, but... it doesn't stop the guilt in his heart from taking hold of the words like a dagger and cutting at him. Because never had he been able to give a reason why he couldn't be with his brother, why he had to stay away, and for as much as he knew Clive was at least relieved to know he still lived, there was hurt too, sadness, that something, that Joshua was the one keeping them apart.

And Clive could only ever wonder why.

There's an apology waiting on his lips, but he's stopped as Clive continues speaking of his relief to see him safe. It does little to quell the ache in his heart, but he tries... he bites it back and swallows it down, because... he has to believe that truly is all that matters now, that they're both alive, safe, and together again. ]

Indeed. [ It's said softly, gently, lacking the conviction he usually has, but he's trying to fight his way past the guilt, and gives a small nod.

Then his own smile warms some at Clive's own, at his reassurance, and, after their chocobo's are secured in their pens, moves to follow him as they start to make their way towards the grave, letting him take the lead since Joshua has yet to visit it himself. He chuckles softly, almost sounding more like a small exhale, ducking his head a little, letting the air between them lighten again towards what it was. ]

I should like to believe I have. Lest all that I have done count for naught. [ Listen, he's faced Ultima, seeked an audience with Dion on multiple occasions (and forced his way into his tent), led the Undying!! But then, a pause, his smile sheepish ] Though, speaking with Father again was... nerve-racking.

[ Though more in wondering of how their father would see them now, if he would be proud of them, how they've grown, wondering if they've lived up to his image. And perhaps that'll extend a little as he pays his respects to the spirits here. ]